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PETA anecdotes

November 12, 2002
PETA anecdotes

I make no bones that I work for a major magazine publisher; in fact, we’re the publisher that PETA targets more than any other.

Why? One of our magazines is unabashedly pro-fur. Which one? Well, here’s a hint: Madonna had a song named after it. (I don’t name names — I’ve done so only once — due to documents I signed when I started working there; yes, they’re that tight on censoring what you might have to say.)

As a result of this, we’ve been regularly targeted by PETA since about the time I started working there back in 1990. And have I got some interesting anecdotes to tell you.

For starters, we’re owned by one of the richest men in America. There are stories there, too, which I just may begin to tell next year after I’m laid off.

But I digress.

Back in ’94, or thereabouts, the Editrix of said Madonna-song was having a meeting with The Owner of The Company late one afternoon. In those days, the security guards at the company were, shall we say, less than sterling?

A half dozen PETA activists walk in, right past the guard station and step onto the elevators. They know the exact floor — 13 — that the magazine was located on in those days, and they march right into the Editrix’s office.

Where she’s having the meeting with The Owner.

They pull out bull-horns and begin screaming in their faces.

Security, of course, was way too late.

The next day, manned electronic security gates were installed.

Another anecdote: in NYC, demonstrators can picket in front of office buildings. So, one very cold wintry day — we’re talking January in Manhattan, folks — one numbnuts (literally, as you’re about to read!) set up a bathtub of blood in front of the building, stripped himself, and sat in it. Why? Anti-fur, of course. I don’t even remember what he was supposed to be representing, as it was just plain dumb.

He was in it for hours. Everyone was walking out of the building to have a good laugh, including me, since I find PETA’s methods to be preposterous. You know things are bad when a pagan is mocking your methods.

Another time, the Editrix was eating lunch at The Four Seasons; a PETA activist walks in, drops a dead raccoon on her plate, and leaves.

Then there was the time the celebrities stripped down and wore nothing but a banner in front of their bodies while they protested by chanting outside of the building. That one lasted about ten minutes, I think. Madison Ave. traffic came to a standstill, forcing the police to take action, if I recall correctly.

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