What I really wrote:
Finding one memory to fit in such a finite amount of space is hard. But let me try by sharing one of my favorite memories. Kim and I will always remember with fondness and affection the afternoon the three of us spent at Paradise Point in Saint Thomas. On this, your special day, we will remember that treasured memory and wish that we could be there with you to celebrate.
With much love, Kim and Scott
What I wanted to say:
Finding one memory to fit within this finite amount of space is hard. But let’s give it the old college try, shan’t we?
I remember the times you would stand by doing nothing while Dad beat the shit out of me.
I remember the times you would stand by while Dad would take my models and smash them into pieces.
I remember telling you a year in advance that I was going to be performing in “West Side Story,” and when I was cast as Riff, you said, “Oh, that’s nice, but we’ll be in Europe.” And to this day, you still insist you saw me on-stage performing the role that was the culmination of my dreams. You didn’t.
And fie on my oldest sister for sending me this fucking card to write these memories on for your eightieth birthday. Sorry we couldn’t make it, but, you know, life happens.
With bitterness, your youngest son